Day 9

Day 9
Ya'll i got on the scale this morning - it said 330.8!  Now do i really think i've lost almost 9 lbs in 9 days w/o dieting and only walking? NOPE!  That wonderful time of the month fell right at the beginning of this journey, so I bet you i was holding onto all 9 lbs of WATER!!  But, hey, it's gone and so that's good :)

Last night we were watching TV in bed, just hubby and me, catching up on Eureka and Haven. Felt a little sleepy and around 10pm, we decided to turn in.  Gals, i did NOT get up and go eat while everyone was sleeping!  It was hard though.  I laid there in the dark for awhile arguing with myself. "I'm going to go eat", "no you are not", over and over again - i'm telling you it was quite a conversation.

But i also realized something.  Do I want to be healthy? YES!  Do I want it to be hard and cause pain or anguish? NO, NO, NO, GIVE ME THE COOKIES, NO, NO, NO!  But see this is the problem.  Let's say that my van quit running.  So i take it to the mechanic and he says "well, it's going to cost $$$ to fix it, but it will be as good as new when i'm done.  Now it's going to take awhile to get all the parts in and have the labor scheduled, so it might be inconvienent, but it will be well worth it ."  So i say "well, i think i'm just going to take it home and try to fix it myself" - and so the tow truck drags the broken down van back to my house.
Now what am I doing to do with this thing?  You all know I can't work on cars and I don't know the first thing about what is wrong with this van, but i keep it in my garage, i look at it every day, i even wash it and clean it up, i clean the engine with some 409, but the darn thing won't run no matter what i do - why??
BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE THE POWER TO FIX THE VAN!  I don't know how it works, what makes it tick, or what to  replace, rewire, or remove.

Isn't it the same with our bodies in regards to weight and God.  He made us, yet we continually take ourselves home to try to fix it without his help.  And we wonder why it is that we can't fix ourselves?  It's because the ONE that can fix us, isn't being allowed to.  You wouldn't take your child home from the ER with a broken arm and try to fix it yourself would you?  No, you'd let the dr fix it - and while it might be painful for the dr to set the arm, the end result is a strong, healed bone in a fairly short amount of time.  Yet we punish ourselves over and over again, diet after diet, year after year, when if we would just let God take control the minute we realize that we are broken, there wouldn't be all of the excess pain we heap upon ourselves.  Will it be painful?  Initially, yes I believe it will be.  Physically, emotionally painful.  However, i also believe it will be a much shorter duration of pain than if we continually keep trying to fix it ourselves without any help from Him.
Now we have to do our part, this isn't like the car shop where you can drop it off and pay the man and have it returned all shiny and new.  No, this requires us working WITH God to correct our bad habits, our gluttony, and even our emotional needs.
So, how do we work with Him?  This is something i'm still figuring out and i've got to take it one step at a time.  For now, my biggest step is "go to bed at night and do not get up to eat"  I believe that God has given me these directions and I have to be willing to just say "ok" even when everything in me is screaming to go have some chips or cookies or whatever it might be.  I have to realize that obeying God is more important and more eternal than any Chips Ahoy! :)